Whilst in London I met a fascinating woman lawyer at a tea party given by a close friend of mine Genevieve Lyons. Genevieve is a writer of romantic novels set in Ireland, whose publisher Robert Maxwell had mysteriously fallen overboard from his boat leaving his family with enormous debts and huge very public scandals. This in turn left Genevieve aged 75 along with many other authors to find new publishers for their work.
Sarah and I discussed Genevieve and how worried we were about her. We were not only worried about her financial situation, as she was unable to find a new publisher but also that she had had a nervous breakdown and been hospitalised for months. When she left the hospital she went to stay with friends. The ultimate reason for her breakdown was “noise.” For over a year she had been woken at 6-30am by the continual banging and crashing of builders in the houses not only to her right and left but also in the flat above.
As we chatted Sarah, the lawyer, told me how she was grateful that she had been able to help Genevieve. “How?” I asked. She then told me the most cockamamie story about helping people with problems so long as they knew exactly what they wanted the outcome to be, in other words, be careful what you pray for, you may get it. She also told me that this is not something she charges for and that she does it for very few people. She had successfully used her technique of darts, which I will explain later, to help Genevieve, who by the time she came home found that the people who lived above her had lost all their money and had to move out. The new tenants were charming and thoughtful coming down to introduce themselves and asking her to please tell them if their footsteps from above disturbed her. Work had stopped on the buildings either side and she had her peaceful nest back.
Sarah also told me the story of a well known banker that she had helped, who had had terrible problems over his taxes. She being a lawyer, though as yet not practicing, realized that the Inland Revenue were at fault. She managed to help him in the same way as she helped Genevieve, in his case she taped tiny affirmations shaped like darts, and pointed them towards the tax office where the officer in question had to pass each day to arrive at work. His problem, she told me was soon sorted out!
My mind was spinning. I was certainly in need all the help I could get and would do anything to get myself out of the horror story I found myself in. I knew nothing about this woman, should I, or did I feel comfortable divulging personal and private information about myself to her?
What had I to lose, at this point I would have done anything to put all this behind me. Even Darts! The idea of a public trial was causing me enormous stress. I would lie awake night after night wondering who the opposition would bring in as witnesses, what lies they would tell and how I would stand up in court. My constantly shaking hands I was sure would count against me.
I finally decided to ask Sarah for help thinking that this was no more crazy than stories that my mother tells me of Olga her faith healer, who has the hot line to God whom she calls “PAPA.” While I was locked in a psych ward having had a nervous break down, and only allowed to have 2 visitors, my brother Mark and my mother. One day my mother arrived to visit me, alone, or so I thought, when all of a sudden Olga appeared at my bedside. She had come to give me a healing session she said. How did she get passed the reception I wondered? After my release I asked my mother how she had managed this knowing how strict the rules were. “Oh” She explained as though it were completely normal, she and Olga walked into the clinic, she checked in at the reception desk while Olga made herself invisible! Well if Mummy could expect me to believe that what had I to lose by taking a chance on Sarah?
I was leaving in 3 days for Roccamare in Italy to stay with my close friends Veronica and Lorenzo Sassoli, very near where Keith lives, and where Mo and I had rented a house for over 20 years. Keith is so secretive however; we have never had anything but the address of his girlfriend Letizia’s pharmacy in Florence as a contact address.
This being the case there was some urgency.
Sarah came to see me the very next day. I explained as briefly as possible my situation telling her that even though I had complete confidence in what she could do, my stepson Keith hated me so much that he would never ever ask for an out of court Settlement. She immediately understood the brief précis I gave her of my story; after all she was a lawyer. She explained to me how she works, and needed to know what my ideal scenario would be calling them affirmations? We would then write each of them separately on a sheet of A4 paper with a photocopy on top of each sheet of a dart, one end being an effigy of a Buddha and the other, where the feathers of a normal dart would be, was the point. I told her exactly what was my ideal scenario. She explained that these affirmations had to be worded with great and sincere kindness saying that I wanted the best for him, Keith, and that I knew he wanted only the best for me! How could I do that? I hated him so vehemently and knew that he hated me!
Together we made the list.
She warned me that these do not happen immediately but to be patient, also that maybe not all of them would come about.
She took these home, typed the affirmations on the A4 sheets and I sent a courier to collect them and bri9ng them back to me. She lived a good 45 minutes away, the other side of London! They arrived back with instructions to mark each page with my fingerprints, and courier them back to her! She then reduced them to miniscule size strips, which she laminated and sent back to me again, by courier. On these too I had to put my fingerprints. This time she told me that each strip contained 50 or so affirmations, so tiny that the human eye could not possibly read them, and that I was to cut each one into tiny squares, and was to stick them with scotch tape to a place where I knew Keith would pass, the point of the dart had to face towards him. Just as though I was going to stab him I thought. No! I could only have kind thoughts about him until this deed was done.
I had hundreds and hundreds of these laminated strips, that I divided into 5 separate envelopes, I bought 2 rolls of scotch tape, I had to be safe in case one got lost, and bought 2 pairs of scissors for the same reason. I put them, except of course the scissors, in my hand baggage just in case my suitcase went astray!
This may sound hilarious now but it wasn’t then, I was taking it all very seriously!
I arrived in Roccamare where I told Veronica of my plan. Understanding what I had been going through and that I was at the end of my rope, she went along with my absurd plan. I could not wait, I had to put this into action immediately!
We set off at about 5 pm having no idea where Keith’s house was. I decided to wear a large hat and equally large dark glasses in case I was recognised were Keith or his girlfriend Letizia to drive past. We knew that he ate a local Pizzeria. Our plan was that I would stay in the car and Veronica would go in, order a coffee and casually ask the owner, whom we knew, if he had any idea where Keith’s house was. “Oh Yes” he told her “it’s about 2 kilometres up the road, but he is away,” indicating where the road was. When we finally found it it was hardly what you would call a road, more a semi paved track!
First Hurdle successfully over!
We drove, giggling up the track, me on the edge of the passenger seat in hat and glasses ready to duck down just in case either he or Letizia passed by having returned early. On and on we went, it seemed far further than the 2 kilometres we had been told. Finally we came to a firmly locked iron gate beyond which, on a hill was a rather ugly orange house. This, we thought had to be theirs, there were horses in the fields, Letizia had horses. As we drew nearer what sounded like a pack of dogs started to bark. We had arrived! By this time the sun was setting and dusk was approaching, it would be difficult to be sure that the darts were facing the right direction in the half light. If I got this wrong the whole mystical charade might not work! I was afraid that perhaps Letizia had not gone with Keith to where ever he was and that she would appear and catch us! I decided that it was essential that the affirmations should be placed at the bottom of his drive on the pole holding up the entry bell, after all this is a place where he would pass daily. I decided to take a chance.
My instruction to Veronica was that she should stay in the car with the engine running, ready for a quick get away! I jumped out of the car as fast as I could running towards the gate post, affirmations in one hand and scotch tape in the other. In my haste I did not notice a huge deep pot hole half covered by long grasses - in I went. Veronica, who saw me struggling to get out, hat askew, came to my rescue, tugging me by my arms while I tried not to drop my precious cargo. Success! The barking of the dogs seemed to get louder and louder as I climbed around in the undergrowth to find a secure foothold from where I could stick these tiny square affirmations. This completed I hurried, my heart pounding, as carefully as possible back to the car. Veronica had turned the car around and now faced back down the road. There seemed to be an endless amount of telegraph poles, how long would this take, it was getting darker and darker! I then realised that I had no idea what type of car Keith had. Did he have a low sports car or an SUV? This of course would make a difference to the height I would stick the affirmations; they had to hit him directly, the energy had to go through him. I decided to cover all eventualities and stick some on one side of the road sports car height and some on the other at SUV height, making absolutely sure that the pointed end of the darts were facing the road.
Fortunately Sarah had given me over 300 strips. My heart was still pounding, my hands were shaking, making it difficult to stick on these tiny squares. I was sure Keith or Letizia would drive past. Veronica was being amazingly patient and long suffering! How many friends do I have who would have put up with my craziness? All this was taking much longer than I had anticipated. I leaped in and out of her car as quickly as I could. The faster I tried to work the more often the scotch tape got tangled and stuck together. Finally after well over and hour and a half we arrived at our last stop, the Pizzeria. By this time darkness had set in.
The plan this time was that Veronica would order a drink for us both and engage the owner in conversation while I would walk around nonchalantly sticking darts everywhere I could, covering every eventuality and at various heights! By this time I had got the hang of how to manage the scotch tape and was able to do this quickly and discretely. The relief at having accomplished my task was unimaginable, my heart stopped pounding, my hands stopped shaking, the fear disappeared and I could now enjoy the rest of my holiday.